Friday, 5 August 2011

Why Are My Pants Tight?!?!

Oh, Right. 

Darn you cookies, cakes, cupcakes, luscious dinners, chips, cheese & crackers, and squares!!!!

Wait.  Come back!  I didn't mean it.  I still love you.

But we need to break up for a while. 

Not for a long while - because, well, all I do is think about you.  Even when I'm supposed to be working.  But - my pants are tight.
(on a side note: the title of this entry might be the most perfect blog name ever.  I'm thinking about changing.  Probably.  Maybe.)

And with a holiday coming up - I need to shift my focus.  I really want to think about how to make meat and salads exciting and pretty.  Cause really?  Meat isn't always pretty.  But I don't think it's the meat's fault.  I mean - it came off a dead thing. 

But I need to be as excited about, say, a hamburger patty or a chicken breast as I would be about a cupcake.  Or a cookie.  Or chips.  mmmmmmm.....  chiiiiiips.


A few weeks ago I set myself up with a goal in mind.  But I ALREADY know that I'm totally not going to make it - I haven't been so diligent.  And I only have five weeks left.

The Cane Girl exercising self-control with food?  Unheard of.  Unconscionable.  Unbelievable.

But.  I gotta try. 

Cause my pants are tight.

Some of you may scoff at me - but I do the Low Carb "thing".  It really does work.  And I feel better when I cut out all the starchy carbs.

Although I miss rice.  And potatoes.

And I have considered cutting off my own arm in exchange for a Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, while in the midst of a "Carb Battle".  I can't even drive past that place without drooling. 

I wish I found "regular" food more exciting.  When I see a perfect cupcake on a blog and it looks totally delicious, I seriously have heart palpitations.

And I have done "regular" food with passion and interest, but only because I knew I would soon be doing what I really wanted to do (bake) at some point....  So doing "regular" food was kind of like a warm up to the fun stuff.

I will paste on my plastic smile, say "I WANT to be cooking this!!  It's so exciting!  And delicious!  Who needs a midnight snack of chips or cupcakes or cookies ANYWAY?  Baking is boring."

Wish me luck - because since I've come home it's been an epic fail.  I like to think that at home I have so much more control over what I'm eating as compared to when I'm at work.  But it seems like whenever I'm trying to do something it's always "oh Heather - come over for dinner cause it's someone's birthday" "oh Heather, let's go for lunch" "oh Heather, let's go to the movies and eat inappropriate amounts of popcorn".

Not that I mind, because it's quality time with people I love - I get stalemated because I think "well, this day is in the toilet - let's try again tomorrow.  Oh - you want to feed me?  I guess the day after tomorrow will have to do".  Blech.

A bumpy road?  Literally - yeah.

This is the Cane Girl in tight pants - signing off.

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